SONG: pull close

red haired boy
you caught my attention
something Im shy to mention

dimple smiled boy
youve got me wondering
if youre worth thinking

outside we havent met
inside,it seems our hands
will meet the air's demands

CHORUS
gravity pulls us close
like you hold me
but something pushes us away
like gravity pulls us close
something,I hope, stays

-----------------------
eh well I guess this doesnt need explaining....I didnt edit it that much, perhaps I will next time. Let me know your thoughts! thanks

realizing

Well I dont think I have so much of a poem tonight as I do a "realization."

Writing my thoughts on this blog has caused me to realize how much I really like writing. Its a way to express myself. Currently I am attending a University as a Vocal Performance major, and I love the same thing about that. I am very right brained when it comes to portraying my feelings. If you look at all my posts,I remember one time I practically wrote a paper-ON MY OWN. (no assignment or anything, I just kept going.) Just saying what I felt in an organized and intelligent manner. Is that a sign?

Last year I took two english classes, poetry and american literature. I absolutely lovedthe poetry class. I really stretched myself to find what I was capable of doing. I always have been extremely good with vocabulary and communication skills when I was a child. I remember in another English class I always aced the tests, and I barely paid attention in class. Maybe this realization has some connection to what my future should look like, what I should pursue.


anyways thats all for now, I may end with a poem
sincerely,
-the lyricist, the musician, the confused one



this box I live in
confines my mind
in its cut out corners
where I sneak for breathe
a short time to rest
from the cookie cut out life

At night I realize (It took time)

vs.1
I dont really love you
I just want the thought of you

I've come to realize
not everything in life
gets better in time

vs.2
I dont really love you
I just want the thought of you

Its easier to see
when we're not blinded
by our own eyes (inbetween)

pre chor.
I love you
I need you
reads
I (dont really) love you
I (never really) need you

CHORUS:
it took time
to read between the lines
it took time
to look into the spaces
it took time
to find our faces

end:
it took lies
to help me realize
it took eyes
it took time
-----------------------------------

I like this whole unwinding at the end of the day, I feel like I get a little closure on life's insanity. Maybe I should be a writer...hah...seeing as this blog has a total of 33 views? I doubt it. But maybe someday..


sweet dreams for now :)

secrets of life

So unfortunately I currently work as a cashier, some interesting things happen at this job.

A couple of days ago, a girl about 13 years old came through and bought a pregnancy test. I acted as if the thing she was buying was practically normal, however it was the opposite. I wondered why she would be needing this, did she have a boyfriend. Somehow, I got the feeling she didnt. She was very quiet and reserved. I wanted to help her, tell her what to do, and that everything would be okay. But I dont know that, I dont even know her. My heart just went out to this girl and I don't know what else to do than write about it.

Yesterday I was returning a movie when I noticed a cute old lady trying very hard to open the door. Initially, I thought about returning my movie and leaving, my conscience quickly turned me otherwise. I said " Do you need some help with this door, its kind of heavy.." I opened the next door as well. She answered in the sweetest voice and something about her tone and frail body spoke to me. I had to make a round about way to get out of the store, but I felt a compassionate fiber inside my heart fill up.I thought about how quickly this life goes, how fast we turn around and we're 80. I am thankful that Jesus Christ has saved me from an eternity in hell. All we have to do is admit we've sinned, messed up, believe Jesus died for us on the cross and confess our sins to him.

Please let me know if you have any questions about this, I would be more than happy to oblige you.



Thanks in general

Midnight blues

well I got up early this morning and had THE longest day, but somehow I cant sleep. Makes sense, nope, well the fact that it DOESNT makes sense-makes sense to me. (Nothing ever makes sense)

so lets de-scramble my brain here.



the inspired one

stars fall from my eyes
like the dreams in my mind

the moon shines in my rear view mirror
reflecting the perfection
Ive never mastered

dreams fall from the sky
like the stars align

((the pain remembers the untainted hope
-crushed when we realize
we aren't staying young, enough.))
----------------------------------------
Im not sure if I like that last stanza,so lets leave it for now. Let me know what you think!Thanks

maybe now I can sleep.

by myself

I want to get away
from everyone I know
all by myself
would be just fine

By myself
with no heartbreak
or headache
By myself
thinking on my own
recognizing no one

I wish I could leave
absolutely everything
not think
for just a couple of days

By myself
with no heartbreak
or headache
By myself
thinking on my own
recognizing no one

song:I can't think

Im stupid
to fall for you
I cant feel
anything but numbness

can we just
keep playing cards
only if you change them

We can cheat
the game
We can cheat
youd stay
we can cheat
I'll try
not to cry

this wont make sense
(because without you
I cant make sense)
its overdramatic
stupid
the only word I can use
stupid
how I thought I could lie
stupid
how you can catch me
stupid
how I caught you


playing cards
inside our hearts
I had a bad hand
from the start

daydreamer---EDITED

Vs.1
when we look
you dont see me
blind to reality

when I speak
you barely turn
enough to hear me
((screaming I need you))


Pre chorus
Screaming I need you
I’ll be staying here
But a daydreamer you’ll be
-chorus-
I want to shake
every thought
out of your head
and leave just one

I want to leave
You with nothing


Vs.2
If you let go
Your mind is
Free to know

If you figure out
That I’ve only been
Trying too hard
((Ill be staying here))
Pre chorus to tag

--------------------------interlude-----------------------------

TAG
Thought for me
Time for me
But a daydreamer-you’ll be

END
I want to leave
You with nothing













let me know what you think of these revisions?Thanks

daydreamer

when we look
you dont see me
blind to reality

when I speak
you barely turn
enough to hear

me screaming I need you

I want to shake
every thought
out of your head
and leave just one

12 years for one day?

Well, I graduated on sunday.

isn't odd that we go to school for 12 years to celebrate just ONE day and then its all done, over, start over. Wierd how life is sometimes. Im just melancholy with a loss for words, Im not even sure if thats the right word. Im going to invent a word that means you dont know the right word to use. guessmots. (english 'geuss' + 'mots' is french for words)I am feeling guessmots.

12 years

of writing instead of wondering

americans value
american value
but who measures value
corrupt leaders?
or insubordunate conspirators?

everyone holds a frame
pictures made by memories
of swingsets in the backyard
and feelings of failure
it rotates
on a time spindle
pictures changing as the motion moves it

any angle you hold it
still a frame
but is your picture a still frame?











yeah I barely read through that before I posted it but Im tired, bed time!

fall

something inside

tells me I shouldnt hide
tells me Im missing out on life

if one day we find ourselves
miles away
I think that'd be okay
you'll be gone
though I already know
you were never here
where I needed you
where I wanted you to be

everything outside

shows you dont see
shows you won't try to find me

they say love blinds
but they really mean--it hides
perfection in your eyes
and that black hole
where I should be, for life.

if we werent so scared
(like you are)
if we didnt lie
(anywhere but in each other's eyes)
You'd tell me you need me
which shows you want me
and you would try to find me
and at the break of intensity


fall.



just where
we should be.